by Clémentine Perrin
As we all know, KHS and KCC respectively have a group of administrators known as the Senior Leadership Team or, as troublemakers know and hear a lot, the SLT. Although both sets of administrators are efficient and large in number, our Karakura High School has the most administrators by far, with five positions, one of which (Vice-Principal) is given to three members. All administrators do different things. Ms. Moon runs Clubs, Mr. Heddo hires and manages Teachers, and Mr. Akiyama (who we’ll get to in-depth later) runs Student Affairs. Our Vice-Principals are by far the most public and involved members of the KHS SLT, so we know a lot about them. However, members like Deputy Principal Akai are often left forgotten, as she primarily manages things behind the scenes. In asking about people’s lockers for a future report, Ms. Akai informed me that she had her own locker, in the form of a large room with prized belongings. In her showing of these, she gave me this newsworthy story and some insight into who she is. Wowsers, amirite!?
Slime and Punishment
Like the school she works at, Deputy Principal Akai is not too scared to pull a mischief! In fact, before bringing me into her office, she brought me to view Vice Principal Akiyama’s office, which was covered in... green slime.
Lo and behold, the Vice Principal’s office had not only been filled entirely with slime on the inside, it and hardened and spread on the ceiling and walls outside... which like... GASP... The jello-like substance was all... hard now- but still somewhat slimy. It was like... so weird. When I asked her about what happened, she claimed that this “is what happens when people get on [her] bad side”. In short, Mr. Akiyama had replaced a vending machine she had installed and “paid the price and got slimed”. At first, I couldn’t process what I was seeing. This is like... tons of like... frickin’ radioactive lookin’ jello.
When asked about the contents and origin of this seemingly toxic slime, she said that she bought it on Temu. A real honest and confident lady right there. To be completely fair to her and to you, my reader, Kaito Akiyama kinda seems like he deserved it. He shouldn’t have messed with this gal, not at all! She seems like quiiiite the bad***.
Going deeper yet into the slime room reveals messages left by our Kiyoko Akai, including the well-worded messages of:
- The slime's name is STEVEN.
- Don't mess with my stuff again.
- Sent you money to cover the damages. - Akai
to talk about her closet, isn’t it?
From here, Deputy Principal Akai guided me into her office, where she first showed off two Bobcat trophies, one for Best Captain and one for HS Male Volleyball 1st Place (2023), both of which belonged to Akito Masuo. When asked why she had his trophies, she said it was out of pride, since she taught him everything he knows. A mentor figure too? This lady just gets better and better!
After that, we went into the closet, which you can see on the right side of the above image. Within, she showed me a multitude of things, and even told me about her family yacht which has the capability to [DATA EXPUNGED]. After that, she allowed me to buy as many drinks as I wanted (basically... she only gave me twenty thousand yen) from her private vending machine... which is like... cool aunt shizzle, to be honest. I love you, Kiyoko! Moving onwards, she showed me a few other things, which I will put into a list from here on out as discussing each one individually would be too much effort.
- Grimace shake
- French fries
- Rotasu Music sign
- Astronaut costume
- Astronaut costume trophy (2nd Place... she was pissed about that)
- Gavel from time as... Mayor (!?)
- 4 bricks from the Business Park construction site (received through 4 million yen donation)
She had many other unique items that I couldn’t begin to cover, but those are the main ones I remember. Oh! She also had a treadmill in there. Cool stuff. At the end, she explained to me that:
- She hoped this report would teach people not to mess with her (which I advise you not to, lest you wanna like... get slimed).
2. She likes cats. Isn’t she so sweet?
Conclusion
This lady needs more attention. She’s like... the female version of Batman. Does that exist? One second... yes, it does. Batwoman! She’s like... totes a Batwoman with all those cool things she has. I bet she has a cool car that can travel really fast and keys to an underground bunker for all her superhero (or arguably favoured supervillain) needs.
In short, if you’re reading this, Ms. Akai, you’re like... super cool and stuff, and I would not be opposed to organizing further meetings in your secret office-bunker. Maybe I could be your apprentice, like Robin. Doesn’t that sound cool?
Have something you want reported on? Call me at (030)-864-4822! <33
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